Open doubt

April 28, 2019  *  John 20:19-31

Today, the Sunday following Easter or Resurrection Sunday, and there’s two things you can count on:  one is the attendance (by comparison to last Sunday) will be low.  Hence the tradition of the Sunday after Easter being coined “Low Sunday”.  Due to the lack of enthusiasm in attendance, many churches observe what is called “Holy Humor Sunday” on this day…funny hats are passed out in the narthex, hymns are celebrated by the playing of kazoos rather than singing….  It sounds crazy but it’s actually a celebration with its roots in early Greek Christianity. 

The other constant on the Sunday after Easter is the subject of the Gospel lesson:  the Apostle Thomas.  We know him chiefly as “Doubting Thomas”, because he doubted the identity of Jesus until he poked around in Jesus’ wounds a little bit, because seeing is believing. 

The more I thought about this, the sadder I became.  What else do we know about Thomas?  Is this all he ever did – was doubt?  Was he no more than someone used to make a statement about faith?  Would I be comfortable with being remembered by an adjective?  What adjectives would surround my identity?  Pastor Tim…which would match up with Thomas’s vocational title of Apostle…much like you would be (NAME EXAMPLES FROM THE AUDIENCE); but that doesn’t capture the essence of “doubting” Thomas.  So, on my tombstone, would it say “Here Lies Cynical Tim”…or “Tim whose facial expressions didn’t know how to use their inside voice” or “Pop culture obsessed Tim”, or “Wore Rock Revival Jeans Past His Prime Tim”.  You get the picture. 

Do I want that?  What would your name be?  How would you go down in the history books?

What’s even sadder is the only mention of Thomas in the lectionary is on this “Low” Sunday!  Thomas is not one of the primary Apostles.  He only shows up in 4 verses aside from today’s lesson, two of which simply list him by name as one of the twelve, then when Jesus announces he will go to heal Lazarus, Thomas says “Oh yes, let’s all go, so they can kill us all”, and the other  Jesus is talking about the way to the Father, Thomas says “No we don’t know where you’re going…how can we know the way then?” (paraphrasing).  The picture I painted in my head was a little bit cynical, a little bit sarcastic…and completely someone I could identify with.  He was a Jewish man, probably from Galilee, whose name means “twin”, yet we don’t know whose twin he was.  In one verse he is specifically listed with Matthew, and in another, Philip.  Lore exists that places him in the woodworking or carpentry vocation prior to becoming an Apostle. 

So we’ve looked at the appearances of Thomas, and we all know what he’s famous for…but what happened after?  We know he was in the Upper Room when the Holy Spirit came, but what then?

Many Rabbinic and historical texts exist surround the continued life of Thomas; some have been substantiated, some have been adjudicated heretical.  The account of Joseph of Arimathea records Thomas as being the sole witness of the Assumption of Mary (Christ’s mother) into heaven; being that we know not what became of Mary at her death, this text remains a mystery.  It is said that the rest of the Apostles were with Mary at the time of her death, but Thomas remained where he was and later came to the place where she was buried where he witnessed her bodily assumption into Heaven.  From the sky she removed and dropped her “girdle” (the rope belt that adorned her waist), which Thomas collected.  It is assumed that the assumption and the physical relic were made available to Thomas directly because of…yep; his doubting nature.  This relic is kept in a reliquary in Italy and is displayed 5 times a year. 

Thomas sailed to India between 43 AD and 50 AD to spread the Good News and establish Christianity to this region of the world.  It is said that he started seven churches, baptized countless families and ordained teachers and leaders.  Some records do reflect his not being alone, which would certainly almost be the case, since Jewish law required two witnesses, and we know the Gospel text of Jesus commissioning the 72 persons to go in pairs to spread the Gospel in His name.  One historian records Bartholomew as Thomas’ counterpart to the East.  Remains of some of the buildings Thomas had a hand in still stand, and scholars agree that he was a grand builder, being a skilled carpenter by trade.

Thomas was martyred in 73 AD, with conflicting accounts that he was either run through by a sword or a spear by the command of an Indian king.  He was buried with an intact spear, which lends most scholars to believe the spear was used to end his life. 

Simply casting Thomas in this shadow of “doubt” is a serious injustice; it diminishes all we’ve heard this morning, and it sets the tone that doubting is bad. 

I don’t necessarily think all doubting is bad.  Doubt can be marred with fear, closed mindedness, pride, and laziness, yes.  Dishonest doubt can falsely claim the authority of reason.  But there is another type of doubt; honest doubt.  The want to believe, but struggling with the hard questions, and the hard circumstances.  The unwillingness to accept the easy answers.  In contrast to the closed, dishonest doubter, the honest doubter is open and eager to go the distance before committing too easily. 

We find Thomas, this honest doubter, “stuck”, if you will.  He just wasn’t able to move ahead like the others.  There’s no evidence here that he actually did touch the wounds on Jesus’ hands, feet, and side; perhaps he did, perhaps not. 

I’m wondering today if many of us aren’t honest doubters…either hiding what we need to move ahead from others, or advertising it openly for others to see.  Mary Magdalene was able to move ahead when Jesus spoke her name.  The disciples were able to move ahead from simply seeing the empty tomb and Jesus alive. 

What prompts us to move ahead?  Remember Jesus never asked for blind followers; all he asks for is a willingness, an open heart, not closed to belief or closed by belief, but an open heart where he can leads us from honest doubt, to honest faith.