Fourth Sunday of Advent, Year A

Today I’m sure we all have a lot on our minds:  buying and wrapping last minute gifts (or just buying and wrapping gifts if you’re like me and all of your shopping is last minute), planning meals, buying groceries, cleaning house, making up guest rooms, hyping yourself up to deal with the stress that is to come….  Sometimes all of this stress can make us feel lost and so burdened down that we don’t know what to do.  And in that spirit, I want this morning to talk about someone else who was quite burdened down, facing some really big decisions; and that is Joseph.

Joseph is the guardian, earthly father, adopted father, stepfather of Jesus (any and all of these titles apply), and is married to Mary, the mother of Jesus.  He is a carpenter from the town of Nazareth, and is a direct descendant of David.  For most of us, that’s about all we know of Joseph.  He doesn’t get much attention in the Bible, even at the birth of Christ, but there are extracanonical historical records and apocryphal writings that do give us a larger window into the life of Joseph, and I want to bring those in to frame up this morning’s text from Matthew, particularly the righteous aspect of Joseph we just read.

While we aren’t exactly certain of the age of Joseph when he wed Mary, we do know he was older; some scholars believe he was in his 40’s, and some believe he was 90.  We do know he was a widower and had four sons and two daughters already, and we also know that Mary was significantly younger than him (by tradition, a teenager).  We know he was well respected.  And while we tend to dwell on the fact that Mary was chosen to bring the physical form of God into the world, it should not be overlooked that Joseph was also chosen to guard, care for, and raise the God in flesh. 

Today’s text picks up with Mary being with child, and she reveals this fact to Joseph, the man to whom she was to wed.  Not only was she pregnant, but it was not his child.  Who’s child was it then?  Mary tells Joseph that the child she carries is of the Holy Spirit.  While Joseph’s direct response is not quoted here, we can pretty accurately assume his reaction from the text to follow.  The emotional response he experienced must have been overwhelming.  I would have had a hard time believing this story as well, and truth be told, I would not have believed it.  That aside, in our world today, we don’t have laws about being pregnant before you’re married, whether the child belongs to the person you are to wed or not.  If I’m engaged to someone, and she tells me she is with child, and there is no physical way it’s mine, if I take her to her father’s front door and stone her to death, by our laws I have murdered her and will face trail and sentencing for that.  But, in the day of Joseph, that’s one of the possibilities that lay before him in this situation.  By their customs, Mary had brought great shame upon him and his family, and he had the legal right (and even moral obligation) to do what I just described; he could call the elders of the community together, take Mary to her father’s front door, and stone her to death, because she was with child…a child that wasn’t his. 

Another option was divorce.  But divorce in this day and culture was much different than divorce today.  When we divorce, it’s a lawsuit, a division of assets, etc.  It carries almost no social stigma…we all have family and friends who have been divorced at least once, and we think nothing about it.  That was not the cast in Joseph’s time, nor was marriage what it is today.  While we marry someone we’re attracted to, someone we’re compatible with, someone we love; that was not why people in this culture wed.  Marriages were often arranged for the benefit of status, goods, and money.  There were certain things put into play to protect the potential gain from the marriage; we’ll refer to these as a dowry, since most of us are familiar with that concept, and we’ll add to it a reverse-dowry, if you will.  Both parties would put up collateral, or earnest money, insuring the other party would be financially taken care of if the marriage didn’t actually happen (in the case that someone committed a breach of contract…like become pregnant with someone else’s child).  This wasn’t a few hundred dollars; it typically consisted of large tracts of land, livestock, money, and servants.  We also think of marriage as not existing between two people unless a duly recognized officiant pronounces two persons as legally wed; back then, this was a more lengthy process with many phases.  While Joseph and Mary weren’t “married” in the way we would consider them married, because the ceremony hadn’t happened yet, they were in a phase of their process that recognized the two persons as married, even though consummation had not yet occurred and could not yet occur.  Hopefully that somewhat clears up the “while they were not yet married” and the “divorce talk” that we’re about to get into. 

So, we see, Mary has actually violated the legal agreement of marriage by being pregnant with a child that is not Joseph’s.  Joseph was then, expected, to publicly divorce her.  In doing that, the repercussions would be far reaching.  Mary would forever be marked and shamed by her community; think Hester Prynne from The Scarlet Letter.  She would never marry, forever being cast out to the margins of society, destitute, homeless, clinging for survival.  Not only that, but her family would suffer, because Joseph would be entitled to take back the goods he had put up as insurance in the agreement, and he would receive the goods put up by Mary’s family, leaving them financially gutted. 

Joseph was faced with a choice. 

We see that in this choice, Joseph made the selfless decision to divorce Mary quietly.  What that means is, instead of exposing her and villainizing her, he would admit fault, forfeit all rights due him, and the shame would be on him.  This would insulate Mary, preserving her honor and status, keep her eligible to wed in the future, and all the assets would go to her.  Joseph would be shamed, and at his (possibly) advanced age, die while living a life of poverty. 

This time of year we all get caught up in gift giving, and believe it or not this text reminded me of that.  Not because of the gift of future Joseph was willing to give his young bride to be, but because of the gift Joseph used to make his decision…a gift we all possess and is one of the most valuable gifts given to us by our Maker:  the gift of free will.  Joseph had the right, the entitlement, and some would argue obligation under the law to publicly divorce Mary, yet he chose not to do that.  He chose to put himself last, and in doing so, making sure that Mary and the unborn child she was with were both cared for and would live a life of prosperity.  This is what made Joseph a righteous man.  This is why Joseph was chosen.  This is the type of man God wanted to teach and mold God’s son.

Every day you and I are faced with choices; sometimes those choices come without parameters and our paths are wide open, and sometimes those choices are a little more defined within moral, legal, and cultural boundaries; when those situations come our way, my hope at this close of Advent is that we would have our eyes opened by a booming sign, and we use our free will in such a way that the world would see that we, too, are chosen people, and be called righteous.